Forcing a Relationship

There are times when we set expectations, demands and prerequisites on relationships, and at times push and force a relationship on another person, while one of the parties is really not interested in having a relationship with a particular person in the first place.

a) If there are any expectations, they should be clarified to the person one is expecting something from in a crystal clear manner.

b) We should not fight other people's battles on their behalf. Let the parties who are involved in a conflict find their own way to each other.

c) The two parties involved have their own lessons to learn and bridges to cross... We just have to sit back, take a deep breath, stay positive and hope for the best possible outcome.

d) Often, our involvement only causes more animosity and escalates into deeper anger, creating a harsher impact to that faulty relationship, spreading poison in us as well, which turns to negativity and ill residue as it sits and brews in our stomach creating sickness and unhealthy acid.

e) People allow others to bully and intimidate them. One thing to remember: People who intimidate and bully other people are actually very insecure and needy people on the inside. They need to push and intimidate other people in order to caress their "overly inflated" ego. Bullying other people makes these often "little" people feel "bigger" and (for no reason) feel that they are better than everyone else.

Inside, they may have a good and soft heart, but on the outside although they have a "tough" exterior, in reality they are quite insecure and need to feed their "security" of other people, thus creating their own kind of defense shield.

f) I believe that one needs to deal with these kind of people from the start and not to allow things to simmer because they love to pounce on people when a sign of a first opportunity arises.

g) Some people prefer the tactic of postponing telling the truth to avoid a conflict or a confrontation out of fear of "facing" them, and therefore, would rather currently avoid with an impending problem and deal with it later. They think that they are preventing a fight or refrain from antagonizing someone and thus, are "softening the blow". In reality, they are only causing more friction and are making the matters worse by allowing even more build up of anger and animosity.

Actually, the blow is much worse and more severe when it comes later because people have already had a chance to build up certain expectations and ideas of an outcome.

h) **Building up self confidence and courage to arrive at the truth is the key. Some people like to play the victim card and make themselves out to be unfortunate people who suffer due to certain circumstances, thus using other people who feel badly and sorry for them to fight battles on their behalf. This is a wrong and an unfair tactic, as in reality these "victims" are hiding behind the facade of lack of self confidence being afraid to discover who they really are, and finally building the ability of standing up and defending themselves. Often, this achieved inner self-control, confidence and love for one-self will diffuse a fight in itself and stop it in its tracks.
Yours Truly, I.N. <3 :-)